No matter what I'm doing, no matter what inner turmoil is wracking my brain at that moment, my life just seems to click when I'm lying in bed. In those final moments before sleep, when I'm reading "Eat Pray Love" or trying to find a comfortable position, everything comes up. Sometimes it's shame for something I've done that day or for the way I think I look; sometimes it's a motivating speech to get myself out of a bad mood; everything just clicks in those moments, and I finally understand why it's more important to explore my feelings, instead of shoving them down with food. I get that I need to study more, and get on top of my schoolwork, if I want to see those straight A's that I'm so desperate to get this year. I understand different ways that I can make new friends, stop myself from burning bridges.
And then I go to sleep, and I wake up, and it's the same old pattern.
So maybe it's time I come up with new patterns. Like having those moments in the morning, before I get out of bed. Not wasting my time watching TV. Being on campus more.
Just some thoughts.
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