Little Beth

There is a little girl I know. She's as thin as a rail, she has an unfortunate haircut (did Mom just plop the bowl on her head and chop? What was she thinking?), and she loves to wear patterned clothes with Barney, Belle, and Jasmine printed all over them.

She's painfully shy, and will hide behind her mother's skirts if she has to talk one of her parent's friends. She doesn't make friends easily; she'll wait to be approached, instead of introducing herself, even at the tender age of 5. Her first grade teacher will call her conscientious, a good listener. She will say that it's a joy having her read aloud to the rest of the class.

Somewhere along the way, she let her shyness overtake the rest of her. Throughout the years, she'll stay safe. She'll stick with the friends she's had since fourth grade, take months to let new friends in, worry about what everyone else is thinking. She'll let her thoughts manifest themselves in others' words...even though she thinks she knows that people really aren't that mean. The other kids at school won't think of her the way she thinks of herself. Her greatest wish, when she is 12 years old, will be to peek inside other kids' minds. See what they're thinking. Prove to herself that they're thinking terrible things about her.

When she's 21, or maybe even a few years before that, she'll learn that people really aren't that selfless. Usually, people are thinking about their own problems - not the awkward clothes or the red face of the girl who's just spent an hour sweating her ass off on the elliptical at the gym.

I do everything for this little girl. She had no idea what was in store for her at age 5; she just knew what was right and what was wrong. She still gets those impulses; it's how she makes most of the major decisions in life. This little girl has the world at her feet in their Barney slippers. She's not going to let her days waste away; she's going to find out that each moment is precious, and every one worth living for.